Of course, there's always the possibility that you dumb sluts aren't videotaping yourself each and every time you have sex, that you're not all ignorant to the peculiar pleasures of sex with the lens cap on, and that you're actually quite aware of how nice sex feels. This, it is too much to bear. But call us cynical, we just can't shake the suspicion that what was once a private, loving act between an aspiring model and an aspiring DJ has now become something else-the pilot for a new Bravo series. Perhaps you are wondering whether people who are tired of being forced to watch celebrity sex tapes are actually just too stupid to use the Internet? There may have been a time, long ago in the Tommy and Pam era, when simultaneous horniness and access to technology was a novelty. At this point, if you're a contestant on "Survivor," ever ran for president or have the name "Kardashian," we just assume there's a video out there of you making your O face.
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We would like to just let this slide, but it turns out that your dumb sluttiness is getting veeeeery, very inconvenient for us sex bloggers out there in the business of covering dumb sluts.
Allow me to translate for all the dumb sluts reading along here: You were asking for it. There may have been a time, long ago in the Tommy and Pam era, when simultaneous horniness and access to technology was a novelty. You saaaay you don't want the sex tape of your boyfriend coercing you into making a sex tape revealed to millions of downloaders, but we know better.